Wannabe Lawyer says SDP imbecilic
Let’s have a little pop quiz before starting on this post proper, shall we?
Which of the following are true:
1. There Stupid Dumbass Party consists of opportunists, lunatics and morons
2. The Stupid Dumbass Party is run by clowns.
3. There are no economists in the Stupid Dumbass Party.
4. All of the above.
I’m going to reveal the answer at the end of the this post, just so that you can check if you’re correct or not. Unfortunately, I’m not giving out prizes so I guess the only reward you get for getting the right answer is a sense of self-satisfaction. Isn’t that great?!?
Anyhow, let’s get on with the program. Well, in case anyone from the Stupid Dumbass Party is offended at the title of this post, don’t be. It’s just a subtle reworking of a title that they used for an article from their website. Let’s take a look!
Home Of the Singapore Democrats - SDP says casino idea imbecilic (18 April 2005)
In general, any press release from the Stupid Dumbass Party usually consists of 4 main ingredients: hatred, castigation (of the G), lunacy, and finally self-immolation.
In this post, we will examine how the 4 ingredients can be identified, and in doing so, provide the answers for the pop quiz above. And maybe, learn how to make a Stupid Dumbass Party press release too!
The PAP has truly hit rock bottom. The decision to allow the operation of casinos in Singapore is the clearest sign yet that the Government has run out of ideas on how to propel our economy forward.
Whoa! Fighting words there from “Show-me-the-money!” Chee! Spunky lil’ fella ain’t he? Unfortunately, it is the opinion of this Wannabe Lawyer that he’s all talk and no cock! This opening declaration is the intellectual equivalent of waving a piddling 3-incher proudly saying, ‘hey baby, I got bone’! *pukes*
Maybe its’ precisely coz ol’ “Show-me-the-money!” Chee ain’t gettin no lovin’, so he’s doin’ all the hatin’, eh? ‘Rock bottom’? ‘clearest sign… run out of ideas’? My my my! Someone ate a whole lotta hate this mornin’, and its all turned into shit! Clearly, “Show-me-the-money!” Chee is full of it!
Instead of coming out with a bold plan to free Singaporeans so that they can develop their true potential and compete with world?s best and brightest, the Government has come up with the imbecilic idea to establish a casino ? against the expressed wish of Singaporeans ? to help prop up an increasingly ailing economy.
Ok, I know “Show-me-the-money!” Chee is a man of many talents (acting, acrobatics, street theatre, defaming, book-peddling, mime), but I didn’t know that he was clairvoyant! How did he know that the majority of Singaporeans were against the casino? Is it possible that he could read the minds of each individual Singaporean and ascertain their thoughts and desires on this issue with his all-consuming omniscience!?! Or unless… unless it is an assertion that he pulled out of his ass for some faux bravado? *plop… ta-da!*
So lets’ give “Show-me-the-money!” Chee the benefit of doubt, and see if he can come up with alternatives that show us the money. But does he? Noooooooooo, instead, he goes into a spittle-flecked tirade about how there is this vast Government conspiracy to replace all Singaporeans with aliens so as to prepare for world domination.
No wait, he didn’t say that (but he might as well have, at least it would’ve been entertaining!). This is what he said:
Singaporeans would also do well to note that the main beneficiaries of a casino are the Government and the foreign operators who will eat the entire cake of profits, icing and all. Ordinary folks will be left with the crumbs that the diners throw our way. Cheap labour from our neighbouring countries will be brought in to staff the gambling dens to maximize profits for the big bosses. To boot, the people will be saddled with all the social problems. Do the ministers really care about these socioeconomic ramifications when they are cocooned in their police-guarded houses with their million-dollar salaries?
Oh this passage is chock-full of castigationy-goodness! The last time I ever saw words so full of shit was in the public toilet at Newton Hawker Center, when this ah pek used some newspapers to wipe his ass and threw it on the floor. Man, does it stink! (the Stupid Dumbass Party press release, not the newspaper)
Instead of showing us the money, “Show-me-the-money!” Chee makes a whole paragraph full of invidious accusations, without providing a single shred of evidence to back up his unsubstantiated assertions, casting himself as a champion for the ‘poor‘ and ‘moral‘ people of Singapore *weep*, fighting against ‘cheap labour‘, ‘gambling dens‘, ‘big bosses‘ and ‘ministers‘ with ‘million-dollar salaries‘! Oh Che, dear Che Guevara, thou hast been reborn as “Show-me-the-money!” Chee! *vomits*
And in the classic mould of an opportunistic demagogue, “Show-me-the-money!” Chee revels in the poisonous nature of the weasel words that he chooses to use. Reasoned discourse? Logical debate? All out the window! Let’s stir up emotions and make use of the peasant’s anger for our own benefit! Clearly, “Show-me-the-money!” Chee is an elitist. How else would he think that ordinary Singaporeans are stupid enough to fall for his tired act? Oh wait, I forgot, they ARE that stupid… sigh
Truth be told, without a reform of our political-economic system, no free trade agreement or free-wheeling casino can solve our economic problems.
Truth be told, I really don’t give a shit if the Stupid Dumbass Party gets sued for copying other people’s work or for defaming Government ministers. The single most grievous sin that “Show-me-the-money!” Chee has committed… IS TO USE THE FUCKING CAKE ANALOGY AD NAUSEUM! ENOUGH OF THE CAKE ANALOGY ALREADY!
‘Eat the cake’? ‘Icing and all’? ‘Ordinary folks will be left with the crumbs that the diners throw our way’?!?!? Oh puh-leese! Don’t people have any sense of shame anymore?!?
In the name of all that is good and holy in literary aesthetics, for this heinous crime alone, you should be condemned to hang. By your balls. Upside down. And your sentence would only be served after you have finished reading the entire collection of Shakespeare’s works, while being hung. I’m sure we can work that into the Crimes Act somewhere.
Ok, I have to admit, the Stupid Dumbass Party did at least try to make substantive policy suggestions, which can be reduced to all of 5 dot-points. *yawn*
Oh goody! Lots of lunacy! Is it just me, or did anyone else notice that points 3, 4 and 5 are in direct contradiction to points 1 and 2?
For example, “Show-me-the-money!” Chee says that
Empowering Singaporeans and upgrading their minds, not just their skills, will allow the people to rise to the top of global economic entrepreneurship. To achieve this, present political and economic controls that stifle dissent and enterprise must be removed.
and
Pretend as they might, GLCs cannot provide, much less sustain, economic development in Singapore. They must be dismantled and, in their place, local private companies must be allowed to surface and be given the chance to compete internationally.
Well, that sounds all fine and dandy, but hold your horses pardner! Aren’t minimum wages, state-mandated retrenchment benefits and nativist protectionist measures forms of ‘political and economic controls that stifle dissent and enterprise‘? Aren’t these also forms of ‘government control of businesses’?
Ahhh… finally, the incoherent lunacy of the Stupid Dumbass Party is revealed! Apparently these clowns don’t know jackshit about economics do they? Would you trust them to implement economic policy for Singapore? Whatever they’re smoking, it sure is some good shit. Were they high or something when writing out these policy proposals?
As I have stated time and again. It is an untenable position to ask for freedoms and liberties on one hand, and for welfare and state-assistance on the other. This is a Faustian bargain. If you want freedom and liberty, the only way you can do it is to eschew a system where the state has any sort of hold over you. Minimum wages, retrenchment benefits and nativist protectionist measures are like an addiction, once hooked, it is very difficult to be weaned off the teat of Leviathan.
It appears that when the Stupid Dumbass Party asks for freedom, they know not what they are asking for. Thus their self-immolation is complete.
Here I have included a New York Times article about how difficult life is in Norway. Now, the NY Times is as left-wing as you can get in American politics, there isn’t anything Frenchy which they don’t love, and yet if they can publish this article on the perils of state-welfare, then surely something must be rotten in the state of Norway. Yes, the much fabled European-welfare model is complete bollocks. Read the article yourself and you draw your own conclusions.
And finally, here we shall answer the pop quiz I gave right at the top. Yep, if you chose option 4, all of the above, you are RIGHT! The Stupid Dumbass Party
1. consists of opportunists, lunatics and morons
2. is run by clowns (”Show-me-the-money!” Chee!)
3. have no economists (as evidenced by the extremely cock-up policy suggestions)
The last time I seen anyone so stoned or high at a party was at the uni pub, and at least THAT party was fun. Can’t say the same for the Stupid Dumbass Party.
So there you go. I rest my case.
*bows to applause*
Home Of the Singapore Democrats - SDP says casino idea imbecilic (18 April 2005) via Singapore Ink. ? Casino statements from Aware & SDP
The New York Times > Week in Review > Perspective: We’re Rich, You’re Not. End of Story.[registration required] via Cafe Hayek: Do Scandinavians Live Better than Americans?
