Molesters Interested in Controlling Anybody

Posted by admin on July 8th, 2006 filed in General

Ever since being bombarded with the phrase “governance with a light touch”, I keep imagining this scary old man wearing all white sneakily flitting his hands across the thighs and bosoms of nubile young ladies. And who can blame me? There seems something really quite perverse about how this so-called “light-touch” is venerated as “The Right Thing” (trade mark application pending).

Funnily enough it appears that molest appears really to be the agenda. And not on nubile young ladies mind you, but rather on ordinary normal people. For example, like mr brown, who is a family man, loving husband and father, geek gamer, humourist and all-round nice guy. He really doesn’t sound like the sort where scary old men dressed in all white would like to molest, and yet he was. Yucks!

Apparently there’s this government organisation that specialises in molesting people, Molesters Interested in Controlling Anybody. The interesting is, they don’t just molest you, they also tell you that you can’t talk about the abuse, or any other thing which they don’t allow you to talk about. That’s the worst part I think, that apart from being cruelly violated in mind, body and spirit, you can’t even talk about it to other people. Think about the horrible trauma that mr brown must be going through! And yet, he must stay silent.

The funniest part for me though, is that the agent they sent to do the molesting, looks exactly like how I would imagine Dolores Umbridge would look like. Yes, the Lady of Pain, Suffering, Banal Evil and Government Supremacy, the Inquisitor par excellence herself. (In case you don’t know who Dolores Umbridge is, she’s a civil servant in the Harry Potter series of books. Interesting coincidence.) Who would have thought that like would imitate art?!?

This time, the Molesters Interested in Controlling Anybody have gone too far. Their latest actions reek of ignorance, stupidity, and ultimately, mean-spiritedness. Nobody likes people who act like fucking bastards and assholes.