Music Industry proves Stupidity and Greed go together
Some people claim that recording industry executives are greedy crack-snorting assholes who would kill their own grandmothers if they found her downloading music. I disagree.
You see, today I realised that executives in the copyright oligopolies are all saintly people, with kind hearts and loving natures. They’re the ones who go rescuing kitty cats trapped in trees, produce charity shows for the NKF, and even fund research into the cure for cancer. Hell, I even heard that the female executives donated their own milk to starving and malnourished children who survived the tsunami.
But you see, the greatest and kindest thing they’ve ever done for the whole of humanity to date is the creation of a one-stop centre to license music works.
This one-stop joint licensing scheme will make it easier for content providers to clear copyright for musical works. The scheme will be operated openly and transparently.
You see, they realised that we bloggers are having great difficulty in getting licenses [paying protection fees], so they created this solution that would resolve all of our difficulties, and provide world peace, and stop Iraqis from killing one another.
Currently, the trend is that we see an increasing number of bloggers that copy music into their web pages without obtaining the legitimate corporate licenses.
Yes, bad bloggers, bad! We all know that it is a fact of life that secondary school kids and kids in Junior College and everyone else in Singapore has to get a license every time they talk about a song, recite the lyrics, sing the song at home in the shower, with friends at the karaoke etc etc. Yes. Every time the song is sung, those poor poor record companies lose millions of dollars and their CEOs might have to default on their bungalow and BMW 7-series repayments. Worst still, they might even have to retrench some workers!!!
So how? What to do?
We would encourage such bloggers to come to the one-stop centre to apply for the necessary licence. We are charging a rate of $1,000 for bloggers that does not exceed the usage of 10 songs.
Of course! The perfect plan! Isn’t it common knowledge that all 13-21 year olds have a thousand dollars sitting around at home doing nothing (or $83.33 dollars a month if they’re allowed to pay in instalments) and they’re just dying to give that money to COMPASS?
But wait! What happens to the rare few impoverished bloggers who cannot afford a thousand bucks a year?
COMPASS is saying, oh well, that’s just too bad innit? You can go fuck yourself now Zoe, no more Zoe’s Radio Show, even though you’re a 15-year-old teen who creates wonderful playlists through your excellent taste in music. Your podcast is illegal! Well, at least here in Singapore.
No more Dean Gray! Even though the lead singer of Green Day, Billie Joe, thought that the American Edit remix was cool, that Dean Gray Tuesday was cool, and that releasing the mash-ups of his music is cool!
No more Q-Unit, even though they brought Freddie Mercury back to life to perform with 50 Cent. Another one bites the dust.
From this day on, a whole generation of people, young people especially, will learn that that they have to obtain licenses for expressing themselves online, through media and art that represent elements of themselves. They will know the word COMPASS intimately, like the school bully who kicks you in the balls to get your lunch money.
They will no longer talk to their friends excitedly about the new band that they just heard. They will no longer post the lyrics online to show their friends how much the words touched their hearts. They will no longer use the music on their blogs as a badge of identity showing where in culture do they stand, so that others may join in.
Knowing that this is Singapore, they will not resist. They will not fight back, as their voices are silenced and their culture is stripped away. These words, these sounds, this culture, belong to someone, and that someone will not allow you to use it unless you pay the price.
But some things change. Children grow up, young people become adults. They become the very customers who will buy the music. People have long memories, especially when posted on their blogs. This debt will not be forgotten and one day, we will come to collect. Just wait and see.
Channelnewsasia.com - COMPASS sets up one-stop centre to license music works
COMPASS - News on 11th of January 2006
Zoe’s Radio Show: Welcome to Zoe’s Radio Show via Boing Boing: Excellent music podcast from Zoe, a 15-year-old girl and Metroblogging Los Angeles: Zoeradio, the best radio show in LA that isn’t
